Friday, April 1, 2016

Week 10 Storytelling: #KnowTheOneYoureWith: Lesson One



You are forbidden to ever see him again, Brittany LaChelle and that is final! Do you understand me, young lady?! Brittany's dad, Earl howled at his then 20 year old daughter.

Brittany was so livid inside, after all that had happened with her brother passing away the year before, and her having to deal with that crazy psychiatrist that only wanted to brainwash her and take all of the family's money.  Brittany couldn't believe that her dad wanted to take away her one true piece of new found happiness.

Brittany had been with Brandon for 6 months now and was really starting to feel true happiness inside. And after all that she had been through, she was so grateful that Brandon had come along. At first, everything was fine when she first started to bring Brandon around the family, but then about a month ago, things started to change, and Brittany wanted to know why.

Daddy, why do hate Brandon so much!? What has he done? All you used to say is that you wanted was for me to be happy and to see your baby girl's smile again. Now that I'm starting to actually smile again, you just want to snatch that away again? WHY!?

Okay, first off you need to watch your tone. Don't forget who's house you're in and who you're talking to. Don't start acting like you done lost your mind. Earl sternly replied back. That boy is no good for you, and you probably are not going to understand that. But I was once that boy and I know how their minds operate. You gotta remember that I've been there and done that. I am looking out for you! You know I love you more than anything and I would never say or do anything if I didn't think that it was in your best interest. 

Brittany stormed off to cool down right after saying, "I don't understand why you would want to do this to me, but I'm about to go cool off before I disrespect you anymore."

Later that night when Brittany came back home, she overheard her parents talking in their room, right as her mom said, "Earl, why don't you just tell her the real reason? She deserves to know and has been through too much for secrets to be kept from her." 

"Brenda, I'd rather her be mad at me for a while instead of knowing that the boy she has fallen in love with is planning to marry some other girl without even telling her. She would never be able to trust anyone again if she found that out that way. If he can't be man enough to tell her the real reason he's going on this "vacation" next week, then she doesn't need him in her life. Period."

"Ok, honey, I understand that, I just don't want any irreversible damage to happen to y'all's relationship because of this."

"I know, baby, but it's gonna work out. I just love her too much to see her go through any more heartbreak."

And just like that, Brittany made sense of it all. She was devastated that Brandon would do that to her after all that they have shared with one another, and how he knew that she relied on him to help her get through these tough times. Then she became even more heartbroken when she thought about how she was yelling at her father earlier that day, and he was trying to do nothing but protect his little girl. Once again, Brittany was reminded that you never really "KnowTheOneYoureWith like you may think.


Author's note: This story is about a Native American story that really stuck out to me entitled, "Old Man Above the Grizzlies." In this story the Old Man (the father) has a daughter, with whom he lives with in a teepee high above the areas that the grizzlies live on. One day, the wind caught her by her hair and pulled her out of the teepee and blew her all the way down to where the grizzlies lived.
The interesting catch about this whole set up is that the grizzlies actually walk and talk just as humans do! So, when the mama and papa bear saw that this girl had fallen down to the home, the took her in and took care of her. She need up falling in love with their son and got married and had kids.
The mama bear decided to go up to the Old Man's house and tell him that his daughter was alive and well (Which I'm kind of surprised that he didn't go looking for his daughter when she first got sucked out of the house). So, the Old Man rushed down to the grizzly land and became livid when he saw that his daughter had reproduced with a grizzly. So to punish them all, he decided to curse them to no longer speak and to walk on all fours with their heads down. He took his daughter back up to his place where they lived from their on out. Probably wasn't happily ever after cause I'm sure she was pissed.
I decided to switch up the plot but keep the same orginal plot of an angry father protecting and rescuing his daughter from something that he thought wasn't a good situation for her. These characters are from and based upon a series of stories I have previously been working that all include the hashtag #KnowTheOneYoureWith in my portfolio.

8 comments:

  1. This was a great story! I like how it is a realistic story that could really happen. Taking your parents advice and knowing that they are always looking out for you is a very good lesson to know. The theme of love and possibly heartbreak ties into your introduction when you said you loved Love. This was a fun story to read, Keep up the great work!

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  2. Hi Bri, I really liked this story! I liked how you kept the theme of the original story, but changed the bear to be a human so more of your readers could relate to your story. I definitely feel like this story is relatable--a lot of us kids don't understand why our parents feel so strongly against us on certain things, but we realize they were just looking out for us all along.

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  3. I loved this story! You made the dialogue sound so realistic, which is something I tend to have a hard time with. I loved the message of the whole thing because honestly I don't know how many times I've gotten mad at my parents instead of the person who has actually done something to hurt me. I also think the idea of a hashtag is awesome!

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  4. You did a really great job with this retelling. I agree with some of the others above that the dialogue you infused between the dad and daughter and then also between the mom and dad was a great addition. This story is honestly pretty relatable for I'm sure all young adults our age because we like to think our parents are being a pain when really they are trying to guide us to do what's best for us.

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  5. Hey Bri! Wow, first off I am super impressed at how well you have kept a continuous theme throughout your stories. I am doing that as well and it can become tricky with all of the different themes we have being thrown at us! I enjoyed how you set up the story and your little blurbs about each story on your Portfolio Index page was great. You have a wonderful way of keeping your readers interested in what is going on in each new story, definitely something I need to work on! You also did a great job of using those key elements you mentioned in your Author’s Note. My dad is definitely overprotective, so I can empathize with how Brittany felt with her dad. What happened to her really sucks though, and it helps to give more perspective on her and how she reacts in other stories. Good job!

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  6. Wow--what great dialogue! I liked how you used italics to show that the speech happened in the past; that was a good idea and I knew exactly what was happening. It's also cool that you decided to use just the element of the angry father protecting his daughter--I think it's really interesting to see what a person chooses to add to a retelling like this when most of it is original, and I really liked the originality of the story! Overall, great job! I enjoyed reading your story...

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  7. Hi Bri, what an amazing story you wrote. I really liked this story especially you made the dialogue sounds so realistic and can happened between any dad and his daughter. I was really able to see the whole scene in my mind and I think that is need a great writer as you to make the reader can see that and enjoy the story. using the element of the angry father to protect his daughter life make the story more powerful because that is so amazing when you see a dad caring that much about his daughter and at the same time he did not want to hurt her feeling and wanted her to just continue her life normally and keep trusting others because he was hundred present sure he will always watching her and do not let anything hurt her in this life. Overall, I liked the story so much and you did great job.

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  8. You did such a great job with your story! I love that you included a lot of dialogue in your story. It really helped to be able to see the relationship between her and her father and understand why she was so angry with him! I definitely didn't expect Brandon to be cheating on her/planning on marrying another woman, so it was definitely a plot twist at the end. I felt bad for her for getting a fight with her dad even though he was actually just looking out for her. It was also heartwarming to know that her father would rather have her mad at him than for her to know the truth. I know that she found out about her boyfriend at the end, but I was kind of wondering what happened at the end? Did she confront Brandon, or just let it be? It would be kind of cool to know how to full story plays out! Overall, this story is great and really fun to read!

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